Thursday, September 9, 2010

Let them eat...

... what exactly?

In's - and the entire "health" industry's - attempt to garner page views educate their readers, we get repeated advice for how to eat well at America's ubiquitous fast food restaurants.  Some are very good, pointing out counter-intuitive matters like salads having more calories than burgers, etc.  But others, like 9 Better Fast Food Options are just bizarre.
Most fast-food restaurants now offer healthy items on their menus, and even the ones that don't advertise stay-slim meals will usually prepare them for you anyway. Follow our handy cheat sheet to satisfy your fast-food craving for just a fraction of the fat and calories
Let's ignore the lack of a period at the end of that sentence, though I have to point it out, as I'm sure a certain once-and-future Alaskan is either laughing or crying right now.  So what is this great advice?  Let's take In-n-Out Burgers, a personal favorite, and see what the experts recommend:
Ask them to hold the meat on your cheeseburger so it's just a bun with a slice of cheese, lettuce, tomato, and onions.
Save: 100 calories
No shit!

The article should continue, "Then take a five-dollar bill and light it on fire, because that's what you've done.  You've wasted five dollars.  Now hit yourself on the head because you're an idiot who has gone to In-n-Out Burger and ordered rabbit food."

Here's a tip if you're looking to shave 100 calories off you fast food diet... don't bother.  I'm usually a big fan of playing the margins when it comes to food.  Skip the soda.  Don't make it a cheeseburger.  Lay off the ranch dressing.  But if you're going to In-n-Out, get the damn thing or don't bother.