Late to the party

Tiki Barber left his pregnant wife for a TV intern, but now there’s a problem.

Now there's a problem? Really? Now?  Might I be so bold as to suggest that there was a problem when, you know, "Tiki Barber left his pregnant wife for a TV intern"?

The last line of the article is also a classic.

As for his new plans to get hitched, Tiki must first untie the knot he created with the mother of his children. The Post reports Johnson, 24, was already making wedding arrangements with the 36-year-old former athlete. Now it seems she'll be making them a bit longer than expected. The couple live together in Manhattan.

How is that interesting, or even relevant?  It comes across as some sort of journalistic knee-jerk (speaking of jerks).  A tic.  A vestigial piece of reporting.

"The couple have cereal for breakfast most mornings."

"The couple wear shoes."

"The couple are embarrassed about their status and have decided to keep their private lives private from here out."

No shit, right?

Ugly brawl mars Jake Shields' win

I went to a mixed-martial arts fight and, um... a fight broke out.

As Shields was being interviewed for the CBS viewing audience, Jason "Mayhem" Miller interrupted him, asking for a rematch. Shields' teammate, Strikeforce lightweight champion Gilbert Melendez, took offense to Miller stealing Shields' big moment, and pushed Miller. Shields and Melendez's teammates got in on the action. Strikeforce champ Nick Diaz and his brother, UFC fighter Nate Diaz, were both seen fighting Miller as CBS announcer Gus Johnson tried to end the fight by yelling, "Gentlemen, we're on national television."

Where's the outrage?!

O'Neill wary of Rooney threat

Martin O'Neill believes Wayne Rooney is in the best form of his career as he looks to his frugal Aston Villa defence to shut out the Manchester United star in their clash at Villa Park.

23 goals in 31 appearances in all competitions. Manchester United's second highest scorer is "own goal".

No shit, M'ON.

Fulham Game Set To Go Ahead

STOKE CITY remain confident at this stage that this evening's Barclays Premier League match against Fulham will go ahead at the Britannia Stadium.

The Club have conducted a review of the situation with match referee Mark Clattenburg and the Police at lunchtime which confirmed that the pitch itself and the footprint of the Britannia Stadium are in good condition for the game tonight (7.45pm kick-off).

City's Chief Executive Tony Scholes commented: "There is no reason to believe that this evening's game won't go ahead at this moment in time."

However, the Club have stressed that they cannot legislate for any sudden change in the weather later today, even though no more snow is forecast.

Unless they're a cabal of super-villans and the pitch at the Britannia is going to open to reveal a giant weather-controlling laser... no shit they can't legislate for changes in the weather!

Cross-posted with Fantasy Premier League

Death becomes him

Ya think?  But if her ever comes back from the dead, I'm sure there will be any number of teams interested.

Nedum to stop and think before speaking

Manchester City defender Nedum Onuoha believes that if City did sign AC Milan star Kaka it would be beneficial for everyone at the club.

So signing the best player in the world " would be beneficial for everyone at the club"? No shit!

Cuban soccer officials stunned by desertions of up to 7 players from under-23 team in Tampa

HAVANA (AP)—Cuban sports officials were stunned Thursday by the desertions of up to seven soccer players in Florida and were unsure how it would affect the under-23 team.

No shit? Only seven?

No truth to the rumour that Elian Gonzalez is desperately trying out for the U-15 team. However, Maykel Galindo's couch is fully booked for a while.

No Shit Sports Headline of the Day

An NFL player, rich? No shit!

A fourth-round draft choice in 2003, he signed a four-year contract that included a $312,500 signing bonus. Including other bonuses and his base salaries, Samuel earned approximately $2 million over the contract, according to NFL Players Association figures

What they should have said is that he is going to be richer. Let's keep things in perspective, shall we?